Is Porn A Problem For Your Dating Life?

looking since pornography

Is porn a problem for your dating life?

Let me count the ways. Well, for starters, here are just three:

#1: Pornography teaches you to view other people as sex objects instead of human souls.

This is a no-brainer. Indeed, it’s the logical outcome of what porn is intended to do.

Merriam-Webster defines pornography as, “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.” So we see porn isn’t identified merely by what it portrays, but by the response it is meant to illicit in the viewer.

Put simply: pornography teaches you to view your date as someone to lust after, use, and leave, instead of someone to love, honor, and cherish.

So it’s a fundamental violation of the golden rule Jesus stated in Luke 6: do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Do you want to be lusted after, used and left?

No you don’t.

So leave porn in your past so you can love, honor and cherish your date like the image-bearer of God they are.

But not only will porn tend to color your view of the people you date. It will also color the way you view a dating relationship. Which leads us to…

#2: Pornography can keep you preoccupied with the physical aspect of your relationship.

Even many conservative Bible-believing Christians seem panic-stricken about the prospect of remaining sexually abstinent throughout their dating life, only to wind up in a marriage where they are…

[dramatic pause]

sexually incompatible. [Bum bum buuummmmm!]

Of course, this fear has the tendency to persuade dating folks to fixate on sexual compatibility.

But the reality is this: the health of your future marital sex life will have almost nothing to do with your so-called sexual compatibility. Instead the overall health of your marriage will largely determine the health of your sex life.

In other words, apart from a rare medical condition, a happy marriage will naturally lead to a happy sex life. Not the other way around.

But where would we have derived the idea that our sexual happiness would ensure every other happiness? Did we learn that at home? At school? Is that what they’re teaching in Sex Ed these days?

Surely the blame lies with our exposure to our hyper-sexualized media in general, but more specifically: porn. In fact, speaking of Sex Ed, one of the most common reasons a young teen girl will give for watching pornography is learning what her boyfriend – I mean future husband – wants in the bedroom.

In other words, we’re taking sexual performances, and using them like sexual education, which establishes sexual expectations which then define what we call sexual compatibility. God help us!

Actually, help yourself and ditch porn so you can focus on more important aspects to your dating life like communication, integrity, vulnerability, and other healthy relationship dynamics that actually will make your dating relationship work, as well as your future marriage.

#3: Pornography can destroy your personal integrity.

The third reason porn poses a problem for your dating life has to do with your personal integrity as a human being.

Of course, most people like to keep their pornography habit quiet. There’s just something off-putting about referencing the last time you masturbated. So if porn has become a part of your life, more than likely it’s a secret part.

Is that what you want: a part of your life you have to keep hidden from anyone you’re trying to get close to?

No! You want integrity between your private and public self. Who you are is who you are. Nothing to hide.

Of course, we all have weaknesses, but there’s a big difference between a weakness and a vice. We all have our flaws, but a flaw is not the same thing as an addiction.

So if porn is something you just can’t seem to shake, press pause on your dating life and determine to do what it takes to cut pornography out of your life.

For help check out the video below or visit the Hot Topic page dedicated to empowering you to find freedom from porn on our mobile-friendly website, updated daily.

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