5 Strategies To Save Your Marriage

By Coach Lee

When a marriage teeters on the edge of dissolution, with one or both partners contemplating departure, divorce, or simply languishing in unhappiness, certain strategies can offer a lifeline to save your marriage.

The potential impact of these methods, often underestimated, can be profound in mending the marital bond.

1. Silence the Yells, Embrace the Peace

Yelling during conflicts is akin to emotional violence.

It inflicts anxiety and conveys hostility, creating a chasm between spouses.

By halting the yelling, you can experience a climate of peace and open the door to closeness and warmth – the very essence of marriage.

When the room is free of raised voices, the possibility for connection, understanding, and working through issues emerges.

Ceasing to yell communicates care and can prevent the unraveling of the relationship fabric.

Yelling is a lot more distructive than most people realize.

In the heart of marital discord, the act of yelling can feel like a release of pent-up emotions, yet the aftermath is a desolate landscape of hurt feelings and widened gaps.

Recognizing the impact of yelling is the first step towards transforming your marital environment.

It’s more than just raising your voice; it’s a manifestation of unresolved pain, frustration, and sometimes, desperation.

When we yell, we inadvertently signal to our spouse that they are the adversary, not the ally we vowed to cherish.

To shift from a tumultuous atmosphere to one of peace, both partners must commit to a ceasefire of raised voices.

This doesn’t mean suppressing emotions but rather finding a constructive outlet for them.

Communication is key, but it must be rooted in respect and understanding.

Try to express your feelings calmly, using “I” statements that focus on how you feel rather than accusing or blaming your partner.

For example, “I feel hurt when we don’t spend quality time together,” rather than, “You never spend time with me.”

Moreover, embracing peace goes beyond the absence of yelling.

It involves actively nurturing a positive, affirming space where both partners feel safe, heard, and valued.

This could be through shared activities that foster closeness, setting aside time for heartfelt conversations, or simply being present in each other’s company without the distraction of technology or other interruptions.

Creating a peaceful environment also means learning to listen actively.

When your spouse speaks, give them your full attention.

Reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure you’ve understood them correctly and show that their thoughts and feelings matter to you.

This level of attentiveness can dramatically reduce misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection.

Remember, the journey from conflict to calm is a process.

It requires patience, dedication, and sometimes, the guidance of a professional counselor.

However, by choosing to silence the yells and embrace peace, you lay down the weapons of destruction in your marriage and pick up the tools of construction, building a stronger, more loving relationship brick by brick.

Through embracing peace, you not only improve your marital relationship but also set a powerful example of healthy communication for those around you, including children who may look to your relationship as a model.

By committing to this path, you reaffirm your dedication to the love and respect that form the foundation of your marriage, paving the way for a future filled with understanding and mutual support.

2. Keep Happy Memories Alive

The recollection of joyous times, whether a memorable vacation or a simple movie night, serves as a touchstone for the relationship.

Revisiting these moments can combat the negative narrative that may dominate during turbulent times.

Making new memories, even through mundane acts like making breakfast or offering a massage, enriches the emotional reserves from which you can draw strength and positivity.

Something else that you can do is to break out the pictures from years gone by and look at old pictures of you and your spouse together.

Think back on the feelings that you had for your spouse then and how the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.

You might be surprised how it impacts you.

I suggest you take your time with these old pictures and go through many of them.

3. Prioritize Lovemaking

Sex/lovemaking is the glue that binds the marital connection, warranting prioritization in the relationship.

Regular, meaningful sex is scientifically proven to contribute to bonding, reduce conflict, and bring mutual contentment.

Treating it as an indispensable aspect of the relationship can lead to remarkable improvements in the marriage’s overall health.

Like other things in life that are important, sometimes you have to take action before you the feelings are there.

The same is true with sexual intimacy.

Sex brings the bonding, warmth, and connection that ignites the feelings.

4. Offer Acts of Service

A simple question like “What can I do for you?” can speak volumes about the nurturing and supportive nature of a spouse.

It signifies attentiveness and a readiness to contribute positively to your partner’s well-being.

Such gestures reinforce the partnership’s foundation and deter thoughts of separation.

5. Focus on the Positives

Spouses must be defined not by their failures but by their virtues.

Reflecting on the good in your partner, acknowledging their acts of kindness, loyalty, and grace under pressure, paints a more accurate and affectionate picture of who they are.

Praising these attributes can inspire growth and reaffirm the commitment to each other.

To cultivate a thriving marriage, it’s essential to create a peaceful environment, cherish and create happy memories, prioritize intimacy, offer supportive acts, and concentrate on each other’s positive attributes.

While no marriage is without its trials, adopting these strategies can shift the trajectory towards a more fulfilling and enduring union.

For more in-depth guidance, GET my free mini-course on saving your marriage!

It offers practical steps to avert the common pitfalls that lead to the breakdown of a marriage.

As we navigate the complexities of marital relationships, these strategies are beacons of hope, guiding us back to the warmth and love that once defined our union.


Coach Lee

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Coach Lee

Coach Lee helps people save marriages from divorce. No matter the situation, there is hope with the appropriate response. Rely on Lee's 22 years of experience in working with couples in troubled relationships.

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