Signs Your Spouse Is Having An Affair and Cheating

Recognizing the Signs of an Affair in Your Marriage

If you’re wanting to know signs that your spouse is having an affair or cheating, you’re not alone.

Many are grappling with suspicions that their spouse might be unfaithful.

Numerous private investigators have consulted with me as they attempted to weigh the signs and clues that a spouse could be having an affair.

I often help individuals in your shoes to understand and identify the signs of infidelity.

Those these aren’t all of the signs that are possible, here are five signs, plus a bonus one, to consider if you suspect your spouse is having an affair.

Sudden Negativity and Hostility

If your spouse has become inexplicably critical and contentious, it might be more than just a bad mood.

A sudden shift to negative behavior can indicate that they are subconsciously trying to create distance or justify their actions.

They might be picking fights or displaying an overall mean-spirited attitude towards you, which, in some cases, is a psychological strategy to alleviate guilt or to pave the way for separation.

Increased and Mysterious Outings

Signs your spouse is having an affair. Clues of adultery.

Has your spouse recently started spending more time out with “friends,” especially late into the night?

While everyone deserves a social life, an abrupt change in this behavior, coupled with vagueness about their whereabouts or defensiveness when asked, can be a significant cause for concern.

This is particularly true for adults entrenched in work and family life, where such late-night adventures are out of character and when unexplained absences become more frequent.

If your spouse is going out all of the time, the odds increase that such activity is a sign they are having an affair.

Guardedness Around Cell Phones

In an age where our lives are intertwined with technology, a sudden protectiveness over personal devices like phones can be telling.

If your spouse is suddenly changing passwords, shielding their screen from view, or seems overly anxious when you are near their phone or computer, it might indicate they have something—or someone—they wish to keep hidden.

Be careful with your accusations or confronting your spouse.

It’s likely your spouse will deny that an affair is happening even when presented with these signs and clues.

Then they will be more careful knowing that you’re onto them.

Altered Sexual Behavior

Any significant change in your intimate life can be a sign of an affair or cheating.

This might manifest as a reduced interest in sex with you or, conversely, a newfound desire for different sexual experiences with you (or others).

These changes might stem from guilt or a shift in their sexual focus and energy towards the other person involved in the affair.

Financial Irregularities

Keep an eye on your finances.

Unexplained expenses, secret accounts, or an increase in cash withdrawals can all be subtle signs of an affair.

This is especially true if these expenses are linked to unaccounted-for periods of time or if there’s a defensive reaction when you bring up these financial discrepancies.

And now for the bonus sign.

Overly Defensive of a “Friend”

If your spouse has a new “friend,” especially of the opposite sex, whom they defend excessively or prioritize unusually, it could be more than just a friendship.

It likely is more than a friendship.

There is a strong possibility that this is a sign your spouse is having an affair or cheating on you.

Pay attention to how they talk about this person, their reaction when you bring them up, and any changes in their behavior or plans that seem to revolve around this new individual.

While these signs can be indicative of an affair, they are not definitive proof.

They are patterns recognized by experts as common behaviors of unfaithful partners.

If you’re noticing several of these signs in your marriage, it may be time to look closer or seek professional help.

Approaching the situation requires delicacy, understanding, and often, professional guidance.

Jumping to conclusions or confronting your spouse aggressively can lead to further complications.

Instead, consider these signs and clues of an affair or cheating as a starting point for deeper investigation or conversation.

Remember, the goal is not just to uncover the truth of if your spouse is having an affair, but also to find a path forward that aligns with your values, wellbeing, and the future you envision for yourself.

In conclusion, recognizing the signs of your spouse having an affair involves a careful observation of changes in their behavior, attitude, and routines.

Recognizing these signs is the first step in addressing the issue, whether that means seeking reconciliation and healing or making informed decisions about your future.

No matter the outcome, know that you are not alone, and help is available to guide you through this challenging time.

Get my FREE mini-course on saving your marriage (even if there is an affair)!


Coach Lee

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Coach Lee

Coach Lee helps people save marriages from divorce. No matter the situation, there is hope with the appropriate response. Rely on Lee's 22 years of experience in working with couples in troubled relationships.

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